This time last year - This article was written December 2017
So many things have happened over the past year and it seem to have gone extremely Quick, times seem to fly by when you don’t work but that not through choose.
My son is in his third year at uni ,he’s settled in well and has meet some great friends ,only getting to see him on term time makes me sad but I’m so proud of his commitment and at least we have facetime know so I get to talk whenever I like.
My girls have left school and have a little job ,they have also started there driving lessons and are meant to be saving for a car ,dad and mum takes it in turn to run them to collage four times a week. They seem to enjoy collage better than school.
Then there is the wife, she is my rock and when she said those words in sickness and in health, she meant it as we have been through some tough times, lucky for me we don’t lead a Champaign life style and a kebab or a Chinese on a Saturday night while watching X factor is more than enough to keep her happy, as well as looking after me see works many hours as a nurse at the n&n hospital, sorts all the bills my meds she does almost every thing for me ,to which I am very grateful ,I find it hard to show sometimes but I love her so much and could not be without her ,I could not be without any of them.
Well it was this time last year that I was waiting for my DBS operation, my Parkinson’s had gotten worst and I was struggling and struggling a lot, you see I am very good at hiding my feeling and always like to put on a brave face to please others, being a working man from the age of thirteen it hits hard when you are told you can no longer go to work to support your family and to say it easy to get help, well that another story.
My shaking had now moved to the right side of my body as well as my left and I was always wondering what people were thinking about me, what they were saying I was very conscious of this and found it very hard to go out even with my closes friends ,Id hide my upset and would often sit along and have a weep not even the wife new that till know. I struggled to walk to sleep the whole shebang, Parkinson’s had taken hold and I was struggling to fight it.
Two of my very close friend (whom also has Parkinson’s) had sailed thru the operation just weeks be for me and where both doing fine and looking great, so I thought I was in for an easy ride, boy was I wrong.
I travelled to London with Danielle and the mother in law a couple of days before and I tell you that last good bye was the hardest one for me yet, even thou she was only a phone call away they stayed for a while ,then left to get the train home ,I knew I’d be seeing her again in two day but give her a much loved cuddle just as she left I remember it lasting for ever but it was probably only minutes , we text until she was home then we said good night ,I was existed very existed I had seen two new people in both my friend and was so looking forward to be a new man ,no let get that right being my old self again.
The next day was tests ,seeing Dr after Dr I had no time to worry ,I been talking to the other guys on the ward ,one who snored very load ,I also had one who shouted in his sleep but it did not bother me I kept my self to myself and did what I was told, even thou the nurse where over worked they were great ,running about here and there always busy, if I remember right I was given something to sleep that night as the nurse said I had a big day ahead of me ,she said she would wake me at six as I was first in ,still I didnt sleep to good and was awake at five ,I showered and the had to put on my gown and silly red socks (if you had an operation you will know what I mean).me being me I ordered a pot and a pee pan and asked the nurse to take a photo of me with the pot on my head while pretending the pee pot was a phone ,she found it as funny as I did.
I was not allowed any breakfast or a cupper tea that morning I was so hungry, as we walked down to the operating table my belly rumbled ,talking to the Dr on the way down he assured me I’d be fine which put my mind the rest .
Then I was interludes once again to the lady who was putting me to sleep ,there were three others in the room who smiled and just got on with wot they were doing, I had meet them the day before but I don’t know their names, they tried to make me feel a t ease but there I was laying on an operating table my bear bum on a cold suffice and all that I was thinking about was what if I don’t wake up ,what if something goes wrong , I needed a wee a poo my belly was bubbling I was crapping it,I was trusting these people with my life.
Then the nurse said mark are you ready, of cause I said yes but I was not ,she then injected my arm with a cold liquid and told me not to worry she would be there when I woke up, the last thing I remember is her smile as she told me to enjoy my sleep.
I guess that’s when the shit hit the fan as they say ,as while on the operating table thing started to go wrong no one was to blame but my body had a reaction to the drugs they were pumping in me, lucky for me I don’t remember very much ,I have tried to put little bits of memory together but with no luck, my DR told me not to worry about it ,but to lose 10 day of your life if very weird, to keep me from hurt myself or someone (which I would never do, unless given a very good reason ) they took me from the bay and placed me in a room on my own ,I even had my own body guard (nurse), I did not take my pills as I thought they were trying to poison me I tried to escape with a key I made from a coffee stirrer ,I did not trust anyone I was all on my own or as I thought ,I only trusted my wife while on the phone to her as when she was at the hospital I did not recognise her, god only knows what she was going thou,
It’s strange as I am not a religious man but for some time after this I went to the hospital chapel and I not worried about saying I asked for some help my bodyguard never left my side, funny enough his name was Ali and yes he’s a real nurse. Found out he was a psychiatric nurse and he was recording my every move.
I’m sorry for the mad phone call I made or the story’s I was telling ,those drugs do funny things to you mind, theses where often made late at night or early hours of the morning, guess we can all look back and laugh at them know.
Guess I’ve not explain what happen to me very well ,but that is cause we don’t really now ,the DRs tell me I had a funny reaction to the morphine and the anaesthetic they had given me ,for my own safety they woke me up after only doing half of the op ,lucky for me they had completed the main half ,that’s the bit in my brain, the next bit was the easy bit they said .but I had to wait for the swelling in my brain to go down as I think I was in hospital for about four week ,not bad as it was meant to be a two week stay completed.
Lucky for the I was sent home for Christmas, my son was home from uni my girls and my wife were all there, even the dogs made a fuss of me.it was my best Christmas to date ,but Christmas and new year came and went but there was something strange I noticed about my body ,I was not shaking all the time and they had not even fixed the batteries to this thing yet ,it was working .I was cured or at least I thought I was.
Then came part two ,I was fit enough to have the next part of the operation ,so of to London once again this time by car as my little brother and his mate joined me .as I book in to my bed some of the nurse said hello I had been recognised, for good reasons I was hoping ,as theses where the nurses looking after me after my op,I tried to ask questions but they did not say a lot ,I must have said sorry to them all so many times and there answer was just don’t worry about ,we see it all the time and that’s what we get payed for.they looked after me well for the next couple of weeks my second op went all to plan and I had no trouble this time ,Danielle joined me in the hospital hotel some days later and we done a bit of sight seeing.
Which almost brings me up to date ,a few months have passed since the op ,I am told by many I look much better and some days I feel it ,I can control my tremor with a machine now ,but some time just some time I get low and some of the effects of Parkinson’s return ,or should I say to let me know that its still there ,with the support of my wife and kids (whom I live for) family and friends ,I will fight this every day till I win.
Take care be strong and always keep fighting